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Commentary: Day School Parenting Under Covid
It was my daughter’s birthday a few days ago. When she woke up, my daughter was so excited to see the decorations; my wife also surprised her by making crepes for breakfast (with fruit, whipped cream and nutella).
Then the Zoom calls started to happen. My daughter was pumped chatting with her swimming friends, and then jumped on another call with her school friends. Presents and signs started to show up on our front lawn.
A large group of our neighborhood friends planned a birthday drive-by. When we started to hear the beeping and cheering, we all ran to the front porch to see what was going on. You can see her face, pure joy.
Most of the day was filled with small acts done by other people for my daughter. Each one made the day special. But more importantly, each compassionate act did something much more powerful. It allowed her to see that even when life is crazy and unexpected, it is the people who can make it better. It is the people who build our hope through compassionate action.
I’ve seen this all over the world as we are faced with a pandemic. The stories are happening right now in front of us, the compassionate actions are starting to impact all of us, and empathy is needed now more than ever.
From “The Power of Compassionate Action” on A. J. Juliani’s blog
Amy D. Goldstein, Parent
Robert M. Beren Academy, Houston
When I recited Kaddish for my parents, I davened at our school with my daughter each weekday. Throughout their illnesses, we traveled between our home in Houston and my parents’ homes in Detroit, and my daughter was allowed to participate in classes online. During shiva for my father, I heard about hospital preparations for the imminent pandemic arrival. Shortly thereafter, the school closed in-person learning on a Friday and started remote learning the following Monday.
What surprised both my daughter and myself was her resilience as she thrived in this online environment. Her writing improved tremendously. She was able to sleep more, focus more and improve her skills. While she misses the social interaction, this tradeoff has been helpful to her as she prepares her college essays. Additionally, being homebound has sparked greater creativity and intellectual curiosity, leading her to read 17 classic books on her own this summer. Whatever happens this year, our school’s online delivery has enhanced my daughter’s education and developed skills that will help her succeed throughout her life.
Jessica Cohen Banish, Parent
Akiva School, Nashville
What do our children really need to be happy? Beyond basic necessities, teaching and showing our children kindness and appreciation—and encouraging them to do the same—matter most to their overall wellness. Mitzvahs for others and small acts of tzedakah that show thought and love are so important. Drawing a picture for a neighbor, checking in on seniors, dropping off cookies, driving by a friend’s house on their birthday or volunteering within the community are small acts that make a big difference. Small acts improve overall happiness for the giver and the receiver and teach compassion.
Our school does an outstanding job of supporting this value. Educators show love and appreciation to every child. They use positive reinforcement as a tool to guide students to make the right choices, and they lead by example. The school encourages students to create fundraising campaigns and food and supply drives to help those in need, and emphasizes the importance of empathy and being kind to one another.
It’s the small acts that make the biggest impact on our children now and on the adults that they will be become.
Rachel Harow, PTA Chair and Parent
Katz Hillel Day School, Boca Raton, Florida
My family was ill-prepared for the sudden shutdown of daily life as we knew it, but we initially welcomed it as a much-needed break. It gave us a chance to breathe, get to know each other, and reevaluate our priorities. While adjusting to life at home, we learned to appreciate how very blessed we are. However, the gaps in our lives rein- forced the importance of community and reminded us that maintaining connections is vital.
Without the myriad distractions of “normal” life, my children’s eyes were opened to those whose needs have been compounded by this pandemic. They stopped focusing (as much) on what they were missing and empathetically began to uplift others. Preparing sandwiches for the hungry, donating clothing for the needy, making masks for the vulnerable, and writing to the lonely gave expression to their compassion. The ability to have a positive effect on our community made a remarkable impact on all of us, and I am profoundly grateful.